What the Hell Theater

If you're going to drink, don't drive. And if you're going to drink and drive, don't try to high-five a cop. That's the lesson learned by a Pennsylvania motorist on February 19th, according to the Altoona Mirror. When Gerald C. Decker, 27, was pulled over by a Pennsylvania cop for driving without his headlights on, he wanted to show his gratitude with a "thanks, buddy" by slapping the lawman some skin. But the officer noticed Decker was apparently inebriated, so he left him hanging. "That's not how it works," the cop said. Decker reportedly failed field sobriety tests, and was arrested -- and later charged with DUI when he flunked a blood test. He was also charged with driving on a suspended license, careless driving, and, yes, driving without headlights.

Niceville, Florida police report a woman heading off to work got quite a shock when she tried to get in her car only to see a child she didn't know playing inside of it. The woman called the cops, who rushed to the scene and began searching nearby homes for open doors or any other place from where the tyke could have wandered, reports NWFDailynews.com. Eventually, police were able to coordinate her call with a report of a man who had been running down the street calling for help; his girlfriend's son had apparently slipped out of her house. Eventually, the boy's mother came to pick him up.

History Lesson

66 David Gilmour /guitarist-vocalist, Pink Floyd
65 Rob Reiner /actor-director, TV's All In The Family, When Harry Met Sally
53 Tom Arnold /actor, True Lies, former hubby of Roseanne
40 Shaquille O'Neal /NBA star

(1475) Michelangelo /born in Capeece, Italy, the artist was employed by several popes and spent four-and-a-half years single-handedly painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

1998 - Singer Liam Gallagher of Oasis was charged in an Australian court after he allegedly headbutted a fan, breaking that fan's nose.

1930 - The first frozen food was sold, in Springfield, Massachusetts. The marketing of frozen foods was the brainstorm of Clarence Birdseye, who shrugged off the publicity and claimed most of the credit ought to go to the Eskimos.

1836 - The Alamo, in San Antonio, Texas, fell to Mexican forces after a 13-day siege.

History Lesson

Marsha Warfield 58/actress-comedian, TV's Night Court
Penn Jillette 57/magician-actor, Celebrity Apprentice
Kevin Connolly 38/actor, TV's Entourage
Eva Mendes 37/actress, Ghost Rider
Niki Taylor 37/model

2002 - MTV began airing The Osbournes. The reality television show followed the daily activities of rock musician Ozzy Osbourne and his family.

2000 - The first cloned pigs were produced in Virginia.

1999 - Trauma Entertainment filed a $40 million breach-of-contract lawsuit against the members of Bush for failure to deliver their next album.

1985 - Mike Bossy of the New York Islanders became the first National Hockey League player to score 50 goals in eight consecutive seasons.

1982 - John Belushi was found dead of a drug overdose at the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood. He was 33.

1924 - Egyptian officials scorned the "Mummy's Curse" and opened the tomb of King Tutankhamen which had been found by archeologist Howard Carter in the valley of the Tombs. King Tut was the leader of Egypt from 13-50 BC.

1907 - The first radio broadcast of a musical composition aired.

What the Hell Theater

A 19-year-old Scottish teen who had been nagged to clean his room really cleaned up. The BBC reports Ryan Kitching finally tidied his room recently -- after much prodding from his mother -- and in doing so, he dug up a winning lottery ticket, worth some £53,000 -- or more than $83,000. Ironically, the teen almost threw the ticket away after he found it; just to be safe, he checked it while on a shopping run with his mom. Despite his windfall, Kitching still has no plans to leave home. "I still get my tea cooked here," he quipped.

DMV cameras aren't known for taking the most flattering pictures, so a 26-year-old man apparently decided to go to great lengths to take a truly awful license picture. Adam Bard from British Columbia, Canada shaved the left half his head, and the opposite half of his beard, taking time to document the process every silly step of the way. Bard then uploaded his pics a few days ago on the photo-sharing site Reddit. "They deliberately said nothing," Bard said of the DMV workers who went through with the snap, "then [they] broke down and asked me if I just did it for the photo. Some chuckles, no problems."

How Anthony Kiedis of RHCP really broke his foot

Earlier this year, the Red Hot Chili Peppers had to postpone their U.S. tour due to lead singer Anthony Kiedis needing to undergo surgery to repair multiple foot injuries. In a recent interview with The New York Times, Kiedis explained how he injured himself. “There’s this weird bone that’s kind of in the ball of your foot, which I had broken in two on our Stadium Arcadium tour from jumping off of [drummer] Chad [Smith]’s drums night after night,” revealed Kiedis. “It never healed. It finally reached a breaking point on tour in 2011 while I was sprinting after [bassist] Flea in a heated game of toilet tag, and something snapped in my foot.”

For those of you unaware of the toilet tag game, Keidis said that “it’s like tag, but if you get caught, you have to put your arm up, and someone can free you by flushing your arm.”

In other Chili Peppers news, the band will kick off its tour to promote the recent album "I’m With You" on March 29 at St. Pete Times Forum in St. Petersburg, FL.

5/4 Prudential Center, Newark, NJ
5/5 Prudential Center, Newark, NJ
5/11 Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA